Jack was known for always having a good mood in the morning, but the same couldn’t be said about this one…”I can’t believe you would CHEAT on me!”

“What!?”

“That’s right! I found out all about it.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“No? You mean to say you didn’t cheat on me, and then didn’t write a whole review on him in your diary?”

“A review!?! Jack—ew!”

Jack was furious.

“That’s right! A review. So, you remember now?”

“What!? No!”

“Oh, come on, Maggie! Yes—I found your sex diary; and I know what I saw in it. I read everything you had to say about him. ‘Nice body‘? ‘Very rich‘? ‘With plenty of influence, without being overly vanilla-dominant‘? You say it like it’s a bad thing.” He flaps his arms in the air at her. “What’s wrong with being vanilla?! I thought you liked it—or at least you liked it with me. You said it’s what makes me dependable!”

“Nothing is wrong with vanilla! That’s not what I—”

“Here; what about this one? ‘The FINISH was medium-long to long, with a nice round mouthfeel. While it was smooth, it did give a slight tickle in the throat and left a bitter aftertaste I did not particularly enjoy‘.”

“Jack—”

“Oh, don’t worry, I got to that part too! I saw what you wrote on me! ‘Cheap, thin, and one-dimensional. The worst mouthfeel. Too much banana, which wouldn’t have been an issue, but it is very VERY bad banana.‘? Maggie…I..I thought we had a happy marriage…”

“We do! Let me explain.”

“You have the whole damn alphabet here! Johnnie, Jim, Jack, George, Evan, Elijah. Wait—Jack no.7? YOU’VE HAD SIX OTHERS!?”

“JACK!”

“WHAT!?!”

“That’s my whiskey review journal. It’s about Johnnie freaking Walker. Jim Beam. George Dickel. Evan Williams. Elijah Craig.”

“…….oh.” Jack trailed off. “Is..is Jack supposed to be Jack Daniel’s?”

“Yup.”

“Oh. Haha, yeah. That’s right. That makes sense. You…uhm…do really hate Jack Daniel’s…”

“That’s right.”

“It…it is cheap.”

“Yes, it is.”

“….and it does have that very bad chemical banana taste.”

“Yeah, duh!”

“..”

“..”

“…….I’ll do the dishes this week.”

“Month.”

“Yes.”