Humans haven’t been made aware of this yet, but extraterrestrials found them before that one first-ever human to find fire…found fire.
Speaking of ever’s—have you ever wondered how that one human found fire? Well, he got lucky. Literally.

Lucky is an alien; that might have had something to do with it. As do the others, Lucky’s ship hovers just above the Earth’s surface, camouflaged as an amorphous blend of air and cotton that humans eventually built a whole hypothetical system around. And called ‘clouds‘.

That really threw off Cloud.

Cloud is another alien. One who’s been very anxious for the past 70.000 years—or ever since the cognitive revolution that allowed humans abstract thought, complex language, and the ability to categorize the natural world into specific names.

“Look, mama! Cloud!“

“GAAAHK!!!”

“For the last time, Cloud—they don’t mean you. They can’t see us, remember?”

“BUT ARE YOU SURE!? ARE YOU SURE THEY DON’T SEE US, XiiZ!? Haven’t you seen human TV? I am pretty sure I saw my ship on one of those BBC channels.”

Lucky enters from the side. “Wow, you were on BBC News!?”

“WORSE—BBC Earth!”

XiiZ sighs. “I…I think you should pick another name for yourself.”

The aliens did not have names of their own at first, of course not. These started after the humans came up with them.

Though Cloud hadn’t been the same Cloud as before the humans, XiiZ’s rationalism, Lucky’s optimism, and XzY’s cluelessness were always there to bring balance on the ship. Together, the four of them were part of the first wave of ships to set camp over planet Earth. Now, there were many.

And they were everywhere.

*

A cackle burst from the other corner of the ship, where XzY was still getting used to human mechanics.

“Gentlemen, get ready to lock in your answer for the million-dollar question! In 10…9… “

“Uhm…what is my human doing? Why is it frozen?”

“BWAH-HA-HA!” Lucky laughs and pokes. “”You sent too many transmissions! Your human has analysis paralysis!”

“WHAT!?!”

“Now, my human is ready to be Lucky winner 253 of The Price is Right!“

“MLEH!” XzY sticks out its tongue.

All around, other aliens turn and pause. Dead silence.

“XzY…where did you learn to do that?”

“I saw it on the broadcast. The humans stick out the pink muscle to show dominance over the prizes. Like this: MLEH!“

“HWWWUUUHHH!”—the aliens gasp step back in unison. Then, more gather to inspect the poked-out tongue.

“What is that!?”

“Structural failure of the face-hole. Worry not—,” an alien says, as laser beams start to power from its eyes.

“No, no.” XiiZ approaches, and the laser beams of the other alien power off. “My calculations say that that sign is the mating call of a male blue-tongued skink.”

“HWUHHH!” The aliens gasp again.

“A…a what!?!” Lucky gasps even louder. “XzY, you’re…you’re a MALE!?!?”